The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize