is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
