Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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