weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
