good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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