guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
