you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it glows. i had to have it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
