Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
