I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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