i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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