omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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