i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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