I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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