I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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