I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
