Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
