so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
