Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
