"it" just moved
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
