well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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