i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
PANTIES FOUND
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