Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
