the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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