I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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