Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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