RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
