At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
