Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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