I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
