We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
