Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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