You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
