I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
