but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
