My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
