I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
