I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
