This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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