i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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