I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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