I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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