I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
