no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
