drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
