Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
