dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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