i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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