Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
