i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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