I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
