Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
